'34'

'Canes' Payton makes permanent jersey switch for father

Posted: Tuesday November 16, 1999 06:05 PM

Jarrett Payton: "My whole family liked it a lot because they say they see so much of my dad in me." AP

CORAL GABLES, Fla. (AP) -- Every time Jarrett Payton would see his father, he could expect the same greeting. "Where have you been?" Walter Payton jokingly would ask. Those were the last words the Hall of Fame running back had for his son.

Jarrett, returning to Walter Payton's bedside the day before he died, was greeted with the phrase that had become so familiar from the man Jarrett calls his father and best friend.

"He looked at me and said, 'Where have you been?' and I said, 'Things never change,'" Jarrett said Tuesday, the first time he has answered questions about his father since his death Nov. 1. "He just laid back and smiled and that was really it."

Jarrett, a backup running back for the Miami Hurricanes, has dedicated the remainder of this season to his father. He changed his number from No. 32 to No. 34, the same number his father wore during 13 seasons with the Chicago Bears.

Wearing a white Bears T-shirt Tuesday, Jarrett said the change is permanent. Though he never wanted to wear his father's number, he wore No. 12 on the soccer field because "three times four equals 12."

"It felt good for me to put it [No. 34] on," Jarrett said. "My whole family liked it a lot because they say they see so much of my dad in me."

Jarrett, a freshman, returned to school two days after his father's funeral because he knew that is what Walter would have wanted.

But Jarrett still is struggling to cope with his father's death. Jarrett said his father wrote him a long letter in the final month before his death. Jarrett could not bring himself to read -- or even open -- it when he was home. Jarrett said he wants to be able to read the letter when he returns home for Christmas.

"I guess it's pretty deep; it's certain stuff he wants me to do and achieve, so I can't wait to get that," Jarrett said. "Right now, though, I'm still trying to get over this whole thing with him. He was my best friend and it's kind of hard when you lose your best friend and your father at the same time. It's a big piece of me.

"I know I have a lot more stuff to accomplish in my lifetime, and knowing that he won't be here physically to watch me do it, it hurts me a lot, because I still feel that he was too young and there was a lot of time left for him. He still wanted to do a lot. And the things that he's not going to be able to do, I'm going to take on my behalf to do for him."

Walter Payton disclosed in February that he had the rare liver disease primary sclerosing cholangitis and needed a liver transplant. He learned during an examination in May that he had cancer of the bile duct, a vessel that carries digestive fluids from the liver to the small intestine.

The news devastated Walter Payton, who thought he was nearing the point where he would be eligible for a transplant. Instead, he went home to face death. His kidneys shut down and he was given 24 to 48 hours to live but lived six more days. He was 45.

Jarrett said his mother, Connie Payton, called him home Sunday, Oct. 24. It was Jarrett's fourth trip home since beginning his freshman year at Miami in August.

"Being able to spend time with my father for that week was unbelievable even though he wasn't the same guy that you'd always come home to and talk to and have conversations with," Jarrett said. "I was right next to him and I was holding his hand when he passed. I couldn't cry, because I knew what he had gone through and the way he had been fighting, and I just knew that he was in a better place. It made me feel good to know that he didn't die some horrible death where he was struggling. It was the most peaceful thing I've ever seen in my entire life."

Jarrett is glad to be back at school, even though he said he gets looks from people who seem to want to say something but just do not know how to say it.

Hurricanes coach Butch Davis said the school has offered Jarrett the services of a sports psychologist who can help him through the grieving process.

"Obviously he's got a lot of things to work through and to deal with," Davis said. "But hopefully by putting himself back into a routine, now he's got studies to think about, he's got football, he's got his friends in the dorm room and people to be around, it will help."

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